Vases
by BallSabre
Summary: Xelloss takes Ozel to meet Filia... Supposed to be humor, but I won't make any promises... READ AND REVIEW! Rated T, just to be safe, there really isn't anything bad in it...


May contain slight spoilers for Evolution-R... As for pairings... They don't really exist, If you look closely though, I'm sure you can fiend all the traditional couples...

I just had to write this! Its really not my style, but I hope someone will find it funny... I got the idea while watching the episode of Evolution-R where Ozel gets violent against innocent vases. I just thought, "it would be hilarious if Ozel met Filia! Oh the sweet destruction!" I blinked and grinned, most likely just like Xelloss (If only I could have seen my own face! Heh heh).

And so this story came to life!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Slayers... But you can still REVIEW!

Also, Jillas = Jiras and Gravos = Glavos (For those who are wondering... I just like my versions better...)

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The day started out like any other day. She woke up to the suns rays on her face, ate her breakfast silently, simply enjoying life. After she had eaten, she opened up her Mace&Vase store, eager to serve every customer that happened to come by...

Val was running (or what ever it is that dragons do with four legs) around the house and backyard, while Jillas and Gravos were desperately trying to catch the little dragon. Every time they came close, he just took flight and grinned evilly at the pair, they weren't going to bathe him today either.

Filia was humming happily, yes, it was going to be another calm and beautiful day. Suddenly she felt an evil presence appear just outside her store, she didn't have to guess twice who it was. Filia rushed to the door and all but slammed it open starting to scream, "Xello..." But stopped, when she didn't see him anywhere, instead she found herself nose to nose with a red headed, young woman. She blinked a few times, trying to gather herself. "Oh, I am so sorry! I must have mistaken you for some one else," Filia apologized quickly, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Just like a golden dragon to jell at random strangers," an irritatingly familiar voice said from above her.

Filia could feel her stress level rising rapidly as she glanced up and found non other than Xelloss, floating in the air like he was laying on a comfortable couch.

"What do you want Xelloss?" Filia asked, her eye twitching dangerously.

"Oh nothing, really. I just thought you should meet a friend Lina and the others made a little while ago..." He shrugged innocently.

"Oh really..." Filia asked rather acerbically while rooling her eyes and turning to this 'new friend of Lina's'. "Hello there, I'm really sorry about Xelloss," she apologized again. "So tell me, what's your name?" The ex-dragon priestess asked politicly.

"My name is Ozel, its a pleasure to meet you miss," She replied and bowed her head.

"Oh there is no need for formalities, just call me Filia." She didn't know what Xelloss was up to, but she saw no way this lovely young miss could be part of it.

Xelloss just grinned in his usual fruitcake way and remained silent. "Oh this is going to be fantastic! I wonder if I should invite miss Lina and mister Gourry to enjoy the show as well... They at least know how to just enjoy the fun, unlike a certain princess and chimera I know." He though, but finally decided against it.

"So Ozel, how did that raw-bag-of-litter manage to persuade a lovely, young woman such as yourself to one of his schemes?" Filia asked sweetly.

Xelloss winced at the insult, "why Filia, I'm totally mortified and shocked! Here I thought it would be nice for you to have a new friend and you insist on insulting me and presume that I'm doing this for my own benefit!" He complied, sounding hurt, but his smile not even ones fading.

"Oh its not like that at all, mister Xelloss just happened to hear me blurt out that I need a vacation." She replied without emotion.

Filia sized her out carefully, she looked like an every day maid to her, nothing special, except the fact that she had a fairly strong magical aura. But that wasn't too rear among Lina's group, even that not-so-bright-but-friendly-and-loyal-swordsman of Lina's had seemed to be gifted with much potential. Filia sighted, "I'm being rude aren't I? Please, do come in, I'll make us some tea."

Filia walked into her store and signalled Ozel to follow her.

Lina looked at Amelia across the dinner table, "where did Xelloss and Ozel go?" She asked absently. It wasn't like she was actually interested in what that fruitcake was doing, but she was terribly bored at the moment.

"I heard mister Xelloss say he was going to take miss Ozel to meet miss Filia... I heard her say that she needed a vacation... I don't know why, but isn't that a little out of character for mister Xelloss..." Amelia asked lifting a suspicious eyebrow.

"Yeah, that does sound a little weird for him..." Lina mumbled, while trying to figure out what could be going on in that twisted little mind of his.

"Lets just be glad he's not here pestering us..." Zelgadiss grunted from his very own dark little corner, while clutching his coffee cup protectively.

"That's not very nice mister Zelgadiss..." Amelia responded in her slightly whiny tone of voice, that always seemed to work on him.

"Umm, isn't Filia that dragon lady, who has that terribly large mace?" Gourry asked while scratching the back of his head wearily.

"Surprisingly, your right Gourry... What? Do you know why Xelloss offered to take Ozel on her vacation?" Lina asked, suddenly looking forwards to finding out what her lump of a protector had in mind.

"Well its just a guess, but isn't Filia seriously obsessed with pottery?" Gourry asked, looking uncertain.

"Yes, she is," answered the chimera, who had suddenly became interested as well.

"Well you remember Lina how Ozel reacted to those vases that man was selling on the street..."

Filia was furious! To put it mildly! At the exact moment Ozel had first laid her eyes on one of her vases, she had completely flipped out! She had grabbed one of her maces and had started bashing all the beautiful vases Filia had collected.

"Raw-litter! This is all your fault!" She screamed desperately, while trying to hit either one of the two with her own mace.

"Now now Filia, I haven't done anything..." Xelloss said, while dodging another swing from Filia's mace. "Oh, this is even more perfect than I thought it would be! If this keeps up I won't have to eat for months!" He thought, while savouring every emotion like the finest of wines, all the while smiling insanely.

Finally Filia's mace connected with Ozel's head sending _it_ flying against the wall, causing the rest of her body to stop moving. Filia gasped in surprise and fell to her feet, not believing what she had just done. "I killed her! I killed her! No that's not possible! I have never killed anyone! But her head isn't attached anymore!" Her mind screamed at her as she began to sob violently.

Xelloss grinned evilly, not believing his luck, "Oh this just keeps on getting better and better!"

Lina stared at Gourry, "how come you don't use that brain of yours more often?" She couldn't believe this guy! He acted like a total moron, but when he felt like it, he could just leave the rest of them into the dust!

"What are you talking about Lina? That was fairly obvious wasn't it?" Gourry asked innocently.

Zelgadiss couldn't hide his smirk. It had formed when he tried to picture the scenario of what should be going on by now. Only if he had known how right he was, he probably wouldn't have been able to ever let the smirk fade.

Filia watched in shock as Ozel's body started to move on its own, it picked up its head and placed it back on. Than she turned to meet Filia's stunned gace, "I am really sorry... I don't know what came over me..." She apologized without a hint of emotion in her voice.

"Miss Ozel, we should probably get back to the others before they get worried, don't you think?" Xelloss asked politely and so they left Filia's store behind them. Leaving an almost paralyzed Filia laying on her back in the middle of her destroyed shop.

Just then Jillas, Gravos and Val decided to return from their little chase. Jillas sweat dropped and asked knowingly, "Xelloss came for a visit again huh?"

Filia only managed to nod. That, was the last time she was going to let that monster into her store in a looong time...

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So, did you like it?

Anything need changing?

Tell me!! REVIEW!! (I'm seriously insecure about my work!! The only reason I managed to post this was, because I got such great reviews for my first fic!)


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